Ricky Gervais: 30 of the comedian’s best quotes and jokes as After Life returns for season 3 and the series finale
From the Golden Globes and beyond, here are 30 of Ricky Gervais’ best quotes and jokes
It had nearly 100 million views worldwide, making it the most-watched British comedy of the decade, according to a tweet shared by creator Ricky Gervais in late 2021.
The show also won the comedy award at the National Television Awards in 2021, fending off competition from shows such as Sex Education, The Vicar of Dibley and Friday night dinner.
Gervais said he was “gutted” that there will be no more seasons of his hit show after its third and final series – released on January 14 – but he is right to “end on this high”.
He said he would do a third series of After Life if it was a “still requested”, and the creator of shows such as The Office and Extras recently admitted he would “secretly” make another season of black comedy.
To celebrate the return – and mourn – of After Life, here are 30 great quotes from Gervais.
30 of the best Ricky Gervais quotes
“Piracy doesn’t kill music, boy bands do.”
“Remember, if you don’t sin, then Jesus died for nothing.”
“It seems to be true, especially in Central America, that the most militant for the use of fossil fuels don’t actually believe in fossils.”
“I like a drink as much as anyone else. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson.
“December 1, World AIDS Day…I don’t think it’ll ever take off like Christmas.”
“Don’t commandos wear pants? They have to wear pants, right?
“I could solve the world’s problems if I… cared.”
“Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
“Give a man a fish, and he’ll probably follow you home waiting for more fish.”
“I would like to thank God for making me an atheist.”
“Where there is a will – there is a parent!”
“If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the tines of a fork and imagine him in jail.”
“Remember that being healthy is essentially dying as slowly as possible.”
“Same-sex marriage is not a gay privilege, it’s equal rights. Privilege would be something like homosexuals who don’t pay taxes. Unlike churches.
“I can’t find anyone funny that I don’t like. Hitler told great jokes.
“Please don’t worship me. I’m just a regular guy, with a lot of followers trying to spread my message. Kind of like Jesus Christ, I guess.
“I can try French because I’m half French half English with a stupid name like Gervais. No I am, I’m half French half English and uh I have both French and English which is good so… I suck in bed but at least I have bad breath .
“iPhones are Barbie dolls for grown men. You carry them around, dress them up in little outfits, accessorize them, and get a new one every year.
“Remember, when you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead. It’s only painful for others. The same applies when you’re stupid.
“America stands up for the underdog. We stand up for the underdog until he’s no longer the underdog, and he annoys us.
“For those of you who don’t know, the Golden Globes are like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A little louder, a little more trashy, a little more drunk and more easily purchased.
“Avoid employing unlucky people – throw half the pile of resumes in the trash without reading them.”
“It’s going to be a night of partying and drinking. Or like Charlie [Sheen] calls it: breakfast.
“You will not burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
“It seems like everything this year was three-dimensional except for the characters in The Tourist.”
“You have to be 100% behind someone before you can stab them in the back.”
“My biggest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn’t reoffended. I think he’s going straight, which shows you that prison works.
“Following someone on Twitter and asking them to tweet about something else is like stalking someone and asking them to take another path.”
“I never understood what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: do not sit on a wall, if you are an egg.
“My wealth and happiness would suggest that God definitely loves me. If he existed of course. Which he doesn’t.
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